Affaire de coeur

hold me. hug me. embrace.
but i don’t want to feel.
feelings make me go crazy.
it’s an internal conflict,
between the mind and heart.

today was a non-stop fight between heart and mind. the brain was trying to force the tears back in. and the feelings made the tears want to spill. it did eventually spill, out of anyone’s sight gratefully. several times. thank god for not crying in class. GOD. that would have really gotten me killed. thank god for a class that doesn’t really care whether i exist or not since i’m pretty much labeled ‘bo chup’ already.

ok, my brother just ran pass me and mumbled something about having stomach ache at this hour.

this is cracking me up. >.