Affaire de coeur

presenting, THE GHEY GOAT MILK COLLECTION ~~ i swear my brother is the funniest everrrr! LOL.. even though he can be irritating. ok and thats me, one shot because i’m the photographer. heheheh. and yes, goat milk rocks big timeee! i fell in love with it when i was primary 5. i think, when i went to visit the goat farm! i remember enjoying a small bottle of goat milk given free by the farm~ it was heavenly! haha, some people might not like it though. even though it’s more nutritious than cow milk and more easily digestable. yes, we went sungei kadut. i have more pictures. taken inside the car, but yeaaaa. ;p i looked like shit because i wasn’t wearing make-up at all or anything. jus plain ol me. hehe. (take note, minimal editing because this computer has no adobe photoshop. ;o)

01, 02,03,klots of LOVEE. and this is my mumma, the driver. and a picture of some pretty flowers stuck near some construction site.

haha yea, and that’s it i guess. tataaa. hope you all enjoyed the pictas. lol

i’ll just shut up and wait. really. there are signs that contradict. and i don’t really want to make a decision now. because decisions made with the matters of the heart, will always be changed. and because i believe in you, i will wait.

and because you won’t let me know yet. i will learn to be more patient.

It’s a hot night.
I’m sweating.
Thinking of you.
It’s just my naivity.
Not that I want to.
I can’t help it.
You’re that one breath to live.
Without it, I’m lifeless.
That’s how important you are.
You’re that one breath to happiness.
One breath to passion, to love.
One more breath to feel.
I’m just helpless like that.
Everything is superficial.
I’m living for material wants & desires.
Except for you.
You’re the only need.
& you’re making it hard for me.
and because I’m gasping for just,
that one breath.
It seems like forever.

i seriously wonder why people bother to sell tickets when singaporeans just loveeee to get cheap tickets to the extent that the ticketsellers start losing money instead of earning. i see no point in giving face to people just because they’re your “FRIENDS” and you lose money. i’ve been having pissy times, so steph said that die die must reserve 14 tickets for her and her friends and in the end she and her friend decided she should just buy from another person because it’s two freakkin bucks cheaper. i swear i hate underage parties. -_- i should seriously NOT go to underage parties ANYYYMORE. one mambo night @ zouk can beat allll the underage parties i’ve been to. sheesh. and i had to stand there waiting for shitty people to come and collect the tickets like 5 to 6 freakin hours and end up have to deal with their shit. and i can still not yell at anyone and still smile at her afterthat. how amazing. i have such AMAZING patience. -_-” and i had to go in underage. -_- thats eveen sheeshier. now i’m worrying if i can go into zouk again without them checking my IC. i will so not wear the red top i’m wearing again to zouk. i love zouk, just not underage parties. or maybe it’s about time i got my fake id. i absolutely HATE being 17. i wish i were 18. -_-

so that sums it all. tonight really sucked. like 71/2 out of 10 sucked. and my leg was aching like hell from standing 5 hours. zz. plus the fact the commission sucked. :\vaunt II sucks.

end of rants.

okay, i’m pissed. is she just trying to piss me off or did she really ask her out? fuck. i am seriously pissed.

like fucking seriously pissed.

the right side of my chest kind of hurts, inside. what hurts is not external pain, it’s the pain inside. and i’m saying i’m not feeling well. and it’s not mental. i hope it goes off soon.

if you told me that you did indeed like some other girl, it would mean that you’ve more or less been lying to me. it doesn’t matter that you’ve been dating a guy. and now i’m just waiting for an answer. and even if this is the answer i’m wanting, i rather you told me.

why i keep asking, is to give myself a reason to let go. to tell myself, see? i was right all along. now you can finally let go.

and i would tell you, okay. good luck. that’s it.

and i’m listening to french music.

sometimes i really shouldn’t reveal how i think and feel. i still think that people won’t be that honest and straightforward as to tell you what they think straight in your face.

and sometimes people like my mum really gets on my nerves. first nagging non-stop, second disrupting my chain of thoughts and third, purposely provoking me. and it’s really non-stop. can i not have a peaceful morning? from a random thoughtful post become some angry rant.

that’s not what i intended. and i felt so peaceful when i was at coffee club this morning. *takes deep breath*

okay, night with the sayoni people was great. loads of new people (not that it mattered at all) and i laughed soooo much! i can’t remember having laugh that much for a long time. i was feeling unusually crappy and i kept sprouting things that will make people laugh. that really only happens among certain people. we went to chill at the outsides of this pub and stayed till like 12++ and everyone started leaving. so we called kai en using some stranger’s phone from the pub because my cell died. no battery. called kai en and another person. after that me & aisya waited for kai en to come down to meet us. ate yoshinoya and went to chill at coffee club afterwards. as usual, we talked deep and serious stuff, accompanied by lovely laughter once in awhile. seriously though, i feel bloody insecure with the cell dead. it’s like, i’m not contactable! and i can’t see the time.

my eye kept twitching this morning at coffee club. i wonder who was talking about me or thinking. whichever. actually, my whole face was twitching. (wow that sounds bad) well, only certain parts la.

it was good.

i want to live on my own a few years after i officially start working. :\ i haven’t thought of this for quite sometime. i suddenly remembered. i even had a plan for it. hahaa, thought was triggered my mum. her voice harsh on the ears at night. so peaceful, the night is.

mm, i think i’ll live with someone. it’s a bit scary living alone. hahaa.

i love claymore! teresa and clare! so very nice to watch! wonder when i be watching movie. so many nice blockbusters to watch!

i don’t know what to say when people are obviously not feeling okay but i really want to doing something to make them feel better. and all there is, is silence.

this type of silence makes me feel uneasy, worried and unhappy. i am a sensitive person. but in the end, it all depends on the will to act on them or not. most of the time, i tend to act on it. because, i love to see people smile and really mean it.

occasionally, it’s a good thing not to know. knowing makes you feel and think more. but not knowing makes you feel uneasy. it’s hard to choose, since knowing doesn’t mean i’ll be of any help.

but people choose these for you. and all that’s left, is to respect it.

i want to be the shoulder you can lean and cry on when you’re sad, the person you can laugh and play with when you’re ecstatic. and the only thing you need is my presence and attention.