Affaire de coeur

Just so everyone knows, or if anyone is interested.. ‘Road blog’ has a blog. I got the meaning of roadblog, it is ‘A journey that talks about a variety of journals to be expressed out on images. ‘  Took it from Asmine’s blog cos I wasn’t there for the meeting when they chose the theme. Here’s the link; ROADblog. The works are purchasable and will be uploaded soon when everyone is in the know of it and not that lazy.

Anyways, the only thing that is happening at the moment is the upcoming final year exams. I am not really studying for it, but on the contrary, I wish I did. It’s almost one paper a day or at most, two. I reckon I’ll be quite free to study and of course, research on my passion – photography. I’m planning, with ‘the four idiots’ to do a few fashion photo shoots. Definitely to gain more experience and to produce awesome photos and more additions to the portfolio. I need models, but I already have one or two in mind. Need to learn the necessary stuff first though. And of course, pass my exams with at least average results. So I can go to Loyang too, with Asmine and Mg. Then can take more pictures also. 

The more I think about it the more excited I get~ HAHA. Looovee.

so this is the collaboration work between me and mr. jimmy. i touched it up already, no more errors. if anyone’s interested in purchasing a print. give me a message somewhere. it can be blown up quite big. i might be creating a page for my photographic works. not the flickr one. my flickr is quite casual.

here’s one of the pictures from jill’s shoot. at least it didn’t turn out too bad.

alrighty, on my way to school and after that work.

you caught my eye the first time last year, and today when i saw you again. i wonder why we kept stealing glances of each other the entire time. pretending to be involved in all that was going on around us. yet in the end, nothing happened. just a ‘hi’ and no byes. my way of attracting attention, is being noisy and outgoing. but maybe that wasn’t what you were looking for. and you stopped stealing glances, you stopped looking my way, and you stopped at that.

as i watched you look at a picture, a sailboat in the middle of the endless sea; for so long, even taking a picture of it. i thought that i felt an unexplainable chemistry and attraction to you. even just a little bit. i felt there could be something so much more than what people always see on the surface.

but then again, something in the end is still nothing. and nothing, amounts to nothing.

but come think of it, since we’re in the same ‘alumni’ even though i haven’t graduated.. i’m sure there’ll be more chances to find out why the unspeakable happens. when i see your beauty again, i will talk to you like a friend. even if my heart yearns for more. because, it’s a taboo.

finally the end of the photo exhibition.. well, sort of. but the photos will still be on display till friday. the photos turned out quite nicely except for the fact the huge one that was on display, wasn’t properly edited by H. therefore i feel very dissatisfied with the outcome of it. and it didn’t actually occur to me that i’d have to check my photos one more time because i thought H and mr jimmy would double check. end up got some dumb mistake and there was the result of some barely decent editing. thank you H, very much.

but it was pretty good seeing your photos printed and on display. and i loved the fact that mr kenny thought that it was good enough to be put in boutique hotels. i learned a lot and am tempted to learn more. also after shooting jill in the wedding gowns. thanks to ms dawn for giving me an opportunity. and i’m more sure of what i want now. which is good.

been busy for almost a week. comparing to how much i usually sleep, these few days haven’t been that sufficient. plus the exams are approaching. next week, to be exact. and i don’t want to ‘die’. so, must study.

resolution; i will definitely perform better than how i am performing now for next years exhibition.

  and yeah, i do think i put photography above studies more often than not. it’s my passion.

in love with daft punk’s something about us.

i wonder why the feeling of a hand moving down my neck feels so darn familiar. why it is so comforting, i wouldn’t know. i know the only person who’s done that in my whole life. but have i really become that attached to you? i say we’re friends, and we should be. not that we’ve met a lot recently.

sheesh, why do we even have to play dare and in the end kiss almost every time we meet and i occasionally get jealous. this is a problem. because we got differences and i can’t deal with. and i doubt you like me that way. i don’t want to change anyone. because i get butterflies in my stomach when our lips touch. 

i’d have to admit, that we used to spend too much time together. it’s a bit hard to detach now. need someone else.

life’s sorta taken to a busy tone. i guess it always happens this way. when i am free, i’m damn free. when i am busy, i’m soo busy. not that today was a very busy day, it was supposed to be busy. but what i really was doing today in the office was just helping everyone with their errands. buying food, and teaching one of them how to use photoshop. quite basic actually. in fact, i’ve been went out on so many trips just to buy food that i now look bloated.

i guess my purpose of helping out is to learn the process of how mr jimmy sets the exhibition up. that’s why i followed em all the way. tiring being out the whole day and the contact lens makes it worst. pressing against my eyeballs and slowly sucking the moisture out of my eyes. been like this these few days. helping out, learning, processing. i guess it’s just better to finish everything by deadlines so there won’t be too much of a rush also.

tomorrow it’s to the printing studio at bedok. have to meet up with some of the rest first before we can all go and witness how it’s like. since the prints are sufficiently big, it’ll be great to see how the outcome is. by monday i’m sure we can frame up the first batch of the photos we sent to printing.

the airport job has been postponing quite a bit. but they got no choice also. and i hope the job doesn’t land on an exam day. if can, the best is on the day we take POA and i don’t have any other POA. *prays* other than that, nothing much ‘cept the shoe job again – which i know i suck at cos it’s sales.

anyway, when i get the poster thingy for the photo exhibition that we’ve been getting busy with.. i’ll post the thing up here for you all to see. if there are any of you lah. can just go take a look, if you  like.. support us and buy a print or two. haha.. the funds are going to our photo trip next year. which means, more photos. for a good cause. us, poor photographers. lol~ i really hope my prints turn out good.

alright, i’m really tired now. tata~

cramps are dumb. school is dumb. everything is dumb. even though it’s only the aftermath of it that sucks big time. must be the menstruation. having teachers “lecture” me on things that i already know, things that i have learned when i was 15. i’m all over that. i’m not a fucking kid anymore. *rolls eyes* i don’t cut myself with a penknife or sob in a corner of my room and think of committing suicide anymore. i’m sick of having people tell me what is right and what is wrong. because in the end, i’m my own judge for that.

i hate it when my brother dumps all my clothes on the bed and all of it’s in a clump, a mess. it pisses me off, especially when i’m all tired. my stomach is aching. i don’t like to eat in the dark, because when it’s only the laptop and me. i can’t see my food. and it will drop everywhere. and i don’t like that mess when it drops everywhere.

i don’t have many problems. they are usually all solved pretty fast. my problems usually just suddenly happen. and i feel like something. and then i don’t know why i feel that way. and i just want to sleep it away. so tired.. i don’t want to feel angry, feeling angry is tiring. and i don’t like being tired like that.

and he says that i can’t always have things go my way, and that i have to work hard and reap all the dumb rewards at the end of the whole thing.. but when i am feeling this tired, and irritable. just let me be. or you can just roll off and knock into a wall and faint.

she says all the things that isn’t me, or was me. but it isn’t me now. she says it as though i am escaping. i probably am. but i hate escaping all the time. it’s whats’ made me be here, doing dumb o levels. taking so long.

fuck whatever. i’ll probably feel  better when i wake up tomorrow morning with nothing to do but procrastinate somemore. good night.

yaaay. i finally got the skinnies i always wanted!   as replacement to wanting to get games and play games so badly, i dug up a game my brother used to play but finished playing – war of the rings!

“make haste!”

today english intensive was quite fun. was quite in the happily enthusiastic mood and it was all good. my spelling still rocks big time! *grins* and my chemistry formula wasn’t too bad. i think i’ll die at all the later parts. let’s hope she goes through some of the things i missed next week. so i at least, have some idea of what’s going to come out for exams besides the equations.

today for the first time i tried putting body lotion after shower. it’s kind of like a scented moisturizing agent. it felt good, really. skin still smells good and is soft and supple. i think it would be quite a chore if i had to do it everyday. it’s only nice because it’s dkny and it’s my mums’. hahaha!

on another note, i honestly expected more of the classmates to come to school today. in the end, only a few of us turned up. but it was sufficient. nat accompanied me to get my skinnies at heeren after english intensive and then i decided to go home and he decided to go plaza sing and play a few arcade games and maybe go for social studies remedial.

i think if these two weeks i put in some effort to study my physics and chemistry, revise my history. i’ll be able to pass. because i feel that i’ll definitely pass english. as for maths, i’d probably be able to pass. borderline pass. or slightly fail. social studies i think i’ll get a borderline fail. and for poa, it’s a definite fail. maybe i’ll try not to fail so bad. i shall take private arts’ next year for o’s. it’s been decided! it’s my fifth o level grade for going into poly or art school.

yaaay!