Filed under: Rants
cramps are dumb. school is dumb. everything is dumb. even though it’s only the aftermath of it that sucks big time. must be the menstruation. having teachers “lecture” me on things that i already know, things that i have learned when i was 15. i’m all over that. i’m not a fucking kid anymore. *rolls eyes* i don’t cut myself with a penknife or sob in a corner of my room and think of committing suicide anymore. i’m sick of having people tell me what is right and what is wrong. because in the end, i’m my own judge for that.
i hate it when my brother dumps all my clothes on the bed and all of it’s in a clump, a mess. it pisses me off, especially when i’m all tired. my stomach is aching. i don’t like to eat in the dark, because when it’s only the laptop and me. i can’t see my food. and it will drop everywhere. and i don’t like that mess when it drops everywhere.
i don’t have many problems. they are usually all solved pretty fast. my problems usually just suddenly happen. and i feel like something. and then i don’t know why i feel that way. and i just want to sleep it away. so tired.. i don’t want to feel angry, feeling angry is tiring. and i don’t like being tired like that.
and he says that i can’t always have things go my way, and that i have to work hard and reap all the dumb rewards at the end of the whole thing.. but when i am feeling this tired, and irritable. just let me be. or you can just roll off and knock into a wall and faint.
she says all the things that isn’t me, or was me. but it isn’t me now. she says it as though i am escaping. i probably am. but i hate escaping all the time. it’s whats’ made me be here, doing dumb o levels. taking so long.
fuck whatever. i’ll probably feel better when i wake up tomorrow morning with nothing to do but procrastinate somemore. good night.
