Affaire de coeur

GOAL: To get into Parsons in 2 years, succeed and travel the whole world/enjoy non-stop within 10 years, be fucking rich in 20 years, and continue enjoying. 

Just need to get out of this hellhole, Singapore. And get out there, out there and LIVE. It will be fucking awesome. People must dream big, to make it big. And have great ambition and determination and do the things you love. It will be your greatest motivation. 

Of course I’ll miss Singapore. But there is so much you can get here, it’s not enough. I’m just one big greedy pig and that’s a good thing, because you’re not eating till you’re obese. Rather, craving the ability to have a good time and the experience that a lot of people do not reach out for. 

Eccentricity is underrated, craziness is underrated. So why do all these work? Cos it is, underrated. 

Maybe everyone should go continue being normal so that the rest of us can be the happiest people on earth.

PS. Oh, and I should stop being the jealous fucker that always gets her mood ruined. Thanks.

I wonder if you’ll still be that same person when you’re back. Or was it supposed to be a mutual understanding we both are supposed to understand. 

Being dependent on someone was not always a good thing. See? I’m trying to be independent. I’m trying to have my own other things to do. To not always be free, but when you ask, I regret doing something else.

Blah.. 

Your presence is missing. What a weird feeling.

We’re all twisted, twisted in our own ways. It’s a good thing. Today sarcasm spilled non-stop, even if care was there, even if the want to make someone happy was there. Or to fake ignorance with the other person already knowing it. Feint innocence knowing the other party will oblige happily. Isn’t it nice? 

If only we knew what each other were thinking. It’s like a mutual understanding, a silent conversation with each other. Sometimes I get the feeling that this is it. And sometimes I don’t feel it at all. It’s something special. 

Yesterday me and Stefan were questioning, how can people live such simple lives? Simple being, with the mindset from young till old – to study hard, get into a good college, get a good job, find a good wife and get married, give birth to kids, and raise them up to do the same. Is it really that simple? It is not. 

Because it sucks to live such typical lifestyles. A life is only truly lived when you have done many outrageous things within reason, experienced the ups and downs, whatever life throws you and survived them all. 

I have been thinking about how to deal with the future and the losses it might cause. If it were last year, it would have been way easier. Now it just isn’t anymore. Can we promise each other 3 years later to meet in New York and be already on the path to success, and once again enjoy crazy times together? Maybe we might already have changed so much. Afraid of the future, only then the past memories will haunt us. And we might never be the same again. 

All there’s left is to enjoy the companies you all give me to their fullest. Live each day filled with emotions, joyous or not. Then only will it be worthwhile. 

Steve Aoki was certainly an eye-opener. It’s kinda like a rock concert just that 90% of the songs were electro kinda, with the trance and house and all the other-worldlies. Loves it. 

Today was an awesome day. I haven’t gone through the pictures but I will and then as usual, upload it within like an hour? 

Hahaha ~ Oh yeah, I watched ‘Broadway Beng’ today and it was okay. I didn’t understand 45% of it, just here and there. Somewhat understanding? Because a lot of jokes made were in hokkien so technically you won’t understand it. And it was amusing, not laugh out really loud kinda funny but alright. Got the free tickets from dear Chanel, and watched it with her and Geran. Hahah~ Nothing missed there. 

Haha, I feel like I haven’t talked to you properly in ages. 

You’re saying it as though you being there would have helped. Stop thinking so highly of yourself. Geez. You’re saying that I sucked, and I couldn’t make a difference. That’s what you’re saying, and you being insecure bugs me even more. Thanks a fucking lot. Sorry if it’s coming out darn blunt, but I’m just saying it how it is. I’m not going to make you feel better. 

I really hope today (the rest of Saturday) will be a good day. All went great till you started disappearing. 

I think Attica’s concept is really great, just that the contact lens were pressing against my eyeballs which resulted in stupid headaches. The constant thumping didn’t help. But I’ve got to admit the music was good. Grr.

Tell me why the world is so superficial. If I was asked, I’d say.. ‘That’s just the way it is.’ Life sucks like that, don’t it.

I’m completely in the mood to go advance myself now. I should have this type of music on play every fucking day. And more of it. Just to get into the vibe of getting crazy and hyped up. Also, more crazy friends. I love.

Electro fucking rave rock JAN 2008 totally WR0CKS!
Ok, time to go find the others.

Time to get into shooting mode, haven’t been into this for quite a bit. Love VOGUE too. Love Tim WALKER. This is what I call shooting for fucks sake. And definite Richard Avedon.

Crazy is good for your health. If your kids in future ever do anything otherworldly, you won’t get the shock of your life and pass out. See, it’s a good thing. 

Crazy is living. Sane is just, overrated. You know? I hope you do.

Have a good day. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

When I’m down, or feeling sad, into the blues and just yell back – all I want, is to seek comfort in you. In your hugs, your hold, that same ol’ familiar feeling. My safe place, my comfort. You. 

As if just that touch would give me all the reassurance I’d need. Telling me that everything will be okay, that you’re there for me through anything. 

And when I’m in the blues, but not there holding you.. I guess, I’m just acting tough but probably shattering inside, trying to maintain that strong facade. Trying to reason out why I should not cry. Because if you’re not here, and I’m not here for myself. I’d just die deep down inside.

So I brace myself and keep it strong, maybe try to find that same comfort in someone else, but if all else fails, I stand up on my own two feet and hold on to myself till someone else comes along or till I break down and die. 

How can I just let you walk away?
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you (oooh-ooh)
You’re the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
‘Cause we’ve shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You’re the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
There’s just an empty space
There’s nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Well take a look at me now
There’s just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
And that’s what I’ve got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There’s so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You’re the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now
There’s just an empty space
There’s nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Now take a look at me now
‘Cause there’s just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that’s what I’ve got to face
Take a look at me now
I’ll just be standing here
And you coming back to me is against the odds
It’s the chance I’ve got to face

Take a look at me now…

-The Postal Service

For some awesomely weird reason, you keep misunderstanding what I say, the way I say it. And for no absolute reason, we can start a quarrel for nothing. And I don’t understand how we can start that quarrel, seriously. I’m not the quarrel and argue kind of person also. 

Awesomely crazy and weird people. How great. -_- 

What a weird way of communicating. Next time this happens again, I know why we’re even quarreling. Cos you miss me, I know right. HAHA.. Your point of melting the ice is to quarrel and make things feel intense and frustrating and in the end make sure we end everything on a light and happy note. 

Haha, it’s weird. Like, you being openly straightforward and too blunt with your words and totally beating around the bush at the same time. ASS. 

XD 

In the end, you just want my attention. Haha..