Affaire de coeur

Embrace Change
June 26, 2008, 2:23 pm
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Change of blog.


figments of past, fast forward
June 23, 2008, 12:02 pm
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Thank God I didn’t go on Saturday. I would have died in burning hell and would have just rot there and no one would really have cared. 

Now I feel like taking back the asking for forgiveness part and trying to make things right part. Because your revenge part is really too much. 

How I miss the times where it was only the few of us. Now that you’ve pulled in so much more, things are too different, very hard to swallow, and G will just be a figment of what we had a month ago. 

Damn, feelings have really made my thoughts very volatile. It’s scary.

The shocking truths that turn up. 

She’s no angel. 

nirvana got burnt
June 21, 2008, 6:14 pm
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Forget that I’ve tried to be nice today. I don’t feel like being nice anymore. I waited for three hours. Did the things I did using my heart and maxed out my niceness. What I haven’t done in 3 years. And then I get words from you saying it’s unnecessary.

Continue reading

lying to myself
June 21, 2008, 10:22 am
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If I can wake up and tell myself that everything was a joke, I’d be happier. I’m afraid of myself at night. I keep telling the truth. It’s not good for my health. It keeps fucking up more and more. Till there’s nothing less to fuck up. I keep thinking that there’s something but there’s not. Tell me, how more deluded can I get? 

I should just keep living a lie. See, it just sounds wrong like this. Who the fucking hell would in their right mind tell themselves to keep living a lie. Obviously you would just want to see the truth, and you would want to be true to yourself and your feelings right. Continue reading

the factory cube
June 18, 2008, 8:25 am
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I think my ultimate dream can come true. If I give myself enough time to earn that much money. Today I was looking through underwater shits. It is quite a dream now, people experiencing life under the sea. But they are doing it, underwater hotels. So, probably in 40 years time, I’ll be able to make my ultimate dream come true. 

Let’s see. For now, I’ll call this ‘The Factory Cube’. And my summary of the whole project for the time being, is an insanely built club underwater coupled with an underwater hotel. Built with durable glass or something that can withstand water pressure. 4 Levels High and Wide. Irregular spaces in between to create totally different environment for the avid party person. Out of the world themes. And coffee bars. Supposedly catering to every partygirl/boy’s dream. I think this will become a tourist attraction too. OK, idea still pending. Long way to go anyhow. Yah, don’t steal my idea okay. If all goes well in future, this will be a massive project. 

It is a dream. The awe-tastic insaneness with stunning visuals flashing through my mind. Neon, HUGE signboards, dramatic colors, in one room, a mini garden with real grass and lovely street lamps, benches and little lights and a bar. A dream garden with a permanent dreamy and romantic atmosphere. The most exclusive club ever. :p I will stop at nothing to make it the best.

Okay, now you may laugh at me. Hahaha. Sounds pretty unrealistic but yeah, this is one humongous dream that might or might not come true. We’ll see. 

June 17, 2008, 6:29 pm
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I am fucking amazed at myself really. You know the other day, I had this sudden idea that came up in my head. Because I always had a problem with stupid shutter speeds and taking pictures at night and have always wondered how people take those nice night pictures. I haven’t touched the DSLR in the longest time I swear and I don’t know how come those thoughts decided to appear since I wasn’t looking for an answer. So just now, after two days of having the I-feel-like-taking-pictures thingy, I woke up and decided to try my luck with the idea. And it’s fucking nice! Love it! Okay, beholddd. The blurry pictures. Haah!



And, I’m currently in love with Katy Perry’s I kissed a girl. 🙂 

I’m damn hungry now. I still haven’t gotten down to checking if the Leica battery is down. But I did get down to cutting my hair which has been delaying for ages. Now the back seem a wee too short. 

I’ve been really getting used to doing things alone. Which can be a good       and a bad thing. People can see it as a loserish character. I personally prefer human company, so it took a bit of insensitivity towards the surroundings and environment to get used to. Still not that insensitive yet. I still kind of care. 

I wonder if it’s me that should take the initiative and get back to where I was. Because usually in this case, I’d conclude that no one gives a shit. Maybe I’m wrong. Hah.

June 17, 2008, 11:42 am
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Woke up in the morning at 9 odd in tears. The leaving and till-death-do-us-parts. It struck me how important the existence of these human beings are. Life is fragile.